Toxic love, no
Talking about mental health is fashionable, or so say specialists who are alarmed by the increase in the number of people affected by anxiety/depression in today's societies, which better reflects the development of diagnostic methods and the breakdown of the prevailing system than generational "predispositions". However, psychotherapy is still stigmatized. It is difficult for us to talk about our emotional problems and to seek help.
Forty percent of Mental Health consultations deal with the consequences of some "irrational love". Toxic love", a syntagma so popular in the media -sometimes without being quite sure of what it means- has made many of us suffer. Crossed by a multitude of cultural apprehensions, "toxic" affective styles are those that make us co-dependent, that turn into violence, that damage our self-esteem and break our functionality. The question is not the influx of conflicts but how they are managed so that suffering does not become habitual.
An important part of our sentimental imaginary comes from music. Or have you never listened to a bolero de vitrola while thinking about the "melodramatic" narration? The playlist is much longer and more varied than we were able to compile, but it is a concise sample of those "toxic" loves, which are better if they make us grow as human beings.
If you are involved in such relationships or if you have been; if you feel emotionally unwell, do not hesitate to ask for help. May loving beautifully be trending.
Theater / La Lupe
Almost everyone who heard her live agrees that La Lupe had a unique, carefree way of performing in front of an audience. When we no longer believe in words, it would do us good to listen to Yiyiyi to keep us from going back or at least to remind us why we shouldn't go back to a toxic love, even if we feel "kissing fever". Put on headphones, or turn on that record player, dedicate yourself to that luxury, expose yourself to her voice, La Lupe is worth it.
A certain love story / Silvio Rodriguez
A song that is cheerful in its tonalities. One could easily learn it by heart. Behind it, a rather twisted story of a young man who is taken in by a thirty-something woman. She gives him a comfortable life, comfort, and demands his presence -even when he has it-. He learned to beat his wife, and to welcome her exacerbated jealousy, "it was normal," says a secondary voice. The certain story ends when she approaches him with scissors to kill him, in that novelistic battle of you are mine or you are nobody's.
Toxic / Wampi
We already know that the cast is not absent from almost any playlist. This one was not going to be less and, without thinking twice, the song that Wampi released a little more than a year ago, continues to be chanted at all parties accompanied by laughter, almost always, because we girls have known more than one person with "controlling" lovers: "you were always hunting me, to check my cell phone...". Wampi in the song leaves the girl, with typical traits of unhealthy relationship. And he made the most appropriate decision, "...I don't need you anymore...".
Lágrimas negras / Matamoros Trio
This classic of the Cuban songbook, which has been sung by the most renowned interpreters to the most humble group of "soperos" of the malecón, is at the same time a supreme example of how schizophrenic the feelings that pile up in the chest of a person in love can be. Here, in this bolero son by Miguel Matamoros, the subject not only refuses to let go of the love that he has for his beloved, but also refuses to let go of the love that he has for him. all his illusions have diedHe is willing to follow it even if his life is at stake. He could have used an intervention from the environment, but it seems that this was not used in the 30s of the last century.
You can't leave me / Edesio Alejandro
Between singing and rapping, this character, who represents the classic lover clinging to a relationship, seeks to convince and convince himself that his romance cannot end. The chorus that repeats ad nauseam this song by Edesio Alejandro and that is part of his album Black Angel (1999; Virgin, TIME 2, Stella Music), becomes almost unpleasant, like the very situation generated by people incapable of handling a breakup with maturity. The tasty clave that sustains the rhythm does not save the lover from unleashing a "demented hurricane" of reasons why it is impossible to let go, in an absolute state of denial. More than clear example of how NOT to react to heartbreak, if you don't want to scare the other being away, after a song like this one.
By drunk / Orlando Contreras
Orlando Contreras was known as "The Romantic Voice of Cuba", although the quasi-stalking way in which, due to his disappointments and heartbreaks, he observes and follows, in this song, the steps of a love that rejected him could be considered in a light far from romantic by the standards of this century. Even though this lyric is a reflection of another era and more than anything the reflection of a person who does not understand that his time has passed, it is a very melancholic and lilting bolero that maintains that exact point between moving and contemplative that characterizes so much the "sad" Cuban music.
You / Elena and Malena Burke
Mother and daughter come together in this duet that brings to the table the agony that sometimes those who are in love suffer. This is a heartbreaking song, not only because of the powerful voices of Elena and Malena Burke, but also because of a certainty: the thought that sometimes love provides "sweet worries and bitter disappointments"; a love that is (almost) impossible to get rid of. "Don't play with my sorrows nor with my sufferings,/, it's the only thing I have", sings Señora Sentimiento and something in us resents.
My impulses about you / David Torrens
With David Torrens you usually dance, but when he set out to make us cry, he more than succeeded in his version of Mexican Aleks Syntek's song. David, too bad, your will has failed you. This is a song about hopelessness, but that doesn't exempt it from beauty: it's short, quiet, like a sweet lament. Especially when the singer's voice becomes hoarse, as in an emotional effort to say that phrase: "I love you more than anyone".
Let her go / Baby Lores and Insurrecto
Once again the kings return to the throne, as if it were possible to forget the hits chanted by Clan 537 and their cubatón, which began back at the beginning of the millennium. Let her go may not be the queen of this list full of toxicities, but it is one of the best known and remembered, especially by a generation that defends antipatriarchal love in its expression of freedom, equality and respect, but that sang, danced and speculates to know it by heart -we include ourselves-. This song, performed by Baby Lores (Yoandys Lores) and Insurrecto (Leandro Medina) is not limited to telling the story of a toxic relationship -in a game of good cop and perpetrator-, but, through a love triangle type story, it reminds us that friendship can also be compromised. Far from being a song about love to death, about "if you don't love me I'll kill myself"; it is a snapshot of an ordinary day in the life of a person (in this case a woman) who is mistreated and suffers physical and psychological abuse under the excuse of "she deserves it", which is something to take seriously.
Cé-lick me like I did / Interactive
This deliciously explosive mix between Francis del Rio and Telmary for the Enjoy Pepillo from 2005 -a great album if ever there was one- brings us a "beautiful" love story full, full of jealousy; the damned, defended, possessive, impatient, justified? jealousy. In a "dime que te diré" and very catchy choruses, the lovers-artists sing each other's praises, reproach each other for everything that has gone wrong in the relationship and we have no choice but to move our feet and our whole body while we nod and approve that ending: "celos que me matan/ que se vayan pallá, pallá" (jealousy that kills me/ que se vayan pallá, pallá).
You do not understand / Barbarito Diez
No Cuban genre can offer a greater idealization of the past than danzón. There is in this a halo of late romanticism that lasted until the twentieth century, and that once its golden age was over, it anchored itself with different revivals and recyclings, "new rhythms" included; and until today it has come down to us. Even so, it is impossible, when listening to it, to abstract from colonial Cuba, with its majestic dances and salons, dances of couples and courtships; that is to say, courtships among whites. Today, Barbarito Diez helps us with this song to imagine, textually and musically, how it could have been lived in those times, the "toxicity" of a love, the dependence, and the impossibility of it; because there is no love, not even in its negativity, not even in a remote time, that does not contemplate a soundtrack for its history.
Ofelia / Los Zafiros
Ofelia does not understand so much toxicity and neither do we. Sixty-two years have gone by since Los Zafiros released A woman's nameas part of his first album More from Los Zafiros. Its story is simple: the lover insists on recovering Ofelia through a phone call; she ignores him and so, for two minutes, the call is narrated with no apparent outcome. Be like Ofelia, my dear, value yourself.
Who has not told a lie / Los Van Van
Forget the lemon, trust is the basis of everything, something that the character in this song by Juan Formell, which is part of the album "La confianza es la base de todo," seems to conveniently disregard. Van Van arrivedby the legendary group. In the song, a jilted lover complains about how he was not forgiven for cheating, he says for "defending a woman's image", when everyone in life has been a little bit of a liar. And yes, but no. Gaslighting textbook, come on. If we screw up, we have to look for better excuses, my friend.