Music (not) suitable for children?

Aquí to'está okeiii / aquí está to'rico / to'está okei, my son intones minutes before we go to sleep. Mexicans call me coño wey, papampám, sings my daughter and they continue, together, that hymn that continues to take over this house. I take advantage, cell phone in hand, and capture the moment. Of the time they spend together, there are few hours when they don't argue. So, proud mom, I don't miss the opportunity to accumulate evidence of the times they cooperate and keep each other company. At home we listen to any kind of music. Sometimes we dance with Wow Popy and other times with Lola the cow. The same sounds Pepa by Farruko than Shakira and Bizarrap, Happy sunrise what The Telerín family. We do not discriminate, although, I must confess, this was not always the case.

When my first daughter was born, I had many musical misgivings. I understood that the sonorities that should accompany us from that moment on had to be only those that had been created for the infantile public. I remember that it bothered me if "adult music" was played in my baby's presence; more specifically, music that, according to me, lacked the values with which I wanted to educate my daughter. But, of course, we are still talking about a baby and, if I have learned anything by now, it is that perfection and parenting do not usually go together. Time has passed and, thankfully, our relationship with music improved, which is largely due to the prejudices I've been leaving behind. But I still find ma/parents in conflict with reggaeton or the cast and, while the least I seek with this text is to question anyone's upbringing, I can't help but wonder: why can't childhoods dance to reggaeton? 

I understand that there are languages that are not suitable for all ages, that the casting codes are sexist, homophobic, full of stereotypes and that we all want to educate better future generations; but is that what really worries us about this genre? To analyze how much that argument holds up, let's review some children's songs that we have sung on loop in Cuban homes historically and that are also full of sexist stereotypes.

For example in this one: Monday before lunch / a girl went to play / but she couldn't play / because she had to [insert homework here].Note how, from an early age, leisure was not for girls, while housework was. As it was also the case of the little ant who could not frolic; the whole song is a constant emotional blackmail towards girls who do not collaborate at home. They could have told her that collaborating at home is the task of all the people who live together and give her responsibilities according to her age. 

Another one that I danced a lot was Miss. Now, from my role as a mother, I don't understand why, if she doesn't dance it, she gets a bad punishment. I don't understand why the lady was forced to dance. And following that line in which our adult look can completely change the meaning of a song, maybe you also remember that one that said Last night I saw you / in Tulip Park / wiggling your waist / PARAM PAM PAM PIN PON OUT / You ate it all / with your belly out. Can someone explain to me what was eaten by whom, at night, in a park, while wiggling his waist? 

From my adult point of view, I understand the context of this song, of course. Although I would like to believe that this is not a children's lyric that talks about sex work, I find it hard to see it otherwise; and, let's remember, that the purpose of this text is, precisely, to "criticize" lyrics that are not suitable for children. If we talk, for example, about hypersexualization, we find La Pavita Pechugona, pretty and simpleIf their video clip is not hypersexualization, I don't know what is; or to La Gata Mini, a cat that wears long stockings, high heels, and lots of gangarrias; and that also has a video clip on par with any reggaeton song. 

If we continue reviewing the children's songbook, we have Rice puddingwho wants to marry a widow who knows how to sew and embroider, "rin rán". I don't know if, among the supposed values we want to instill in our daughters and sons, continuing to divide domestic work or certain activities based on gender is advisable. Because if there is one thing about most of the nursery rhymes we have repeated ad nauseam, it is that in almost all of them, the female figure is the one who takes care: the chicks whose mother looks for corn and wheat, Juan me tiene sin cuidado and his grandmother who scolds him, Mrs. Santana taking care of a child who cries for an apple, La tortica de mateca for mom who gives the teat and those of white bread, for dad who is in the field; or poor Mona Jacinta who, after having built her castle, does not even enjoy the throne.

In the age of consent and "no is no," why are they so bothered by the "take a jagger and lower your blumer," but still sing to their son In the forest of ChinaAren't both of them advocating rape? Because, when the little Chinese girl lost in the forest says no, the little Chinese boy insists, a lot I would say, and ends up "convincing" her. Ah, but it's nicer to talk about the moon kissing her than about the jagger. It's nicer and less vulgar, isn't it? In the end, I understand, that what worries about children listening and dancing to reggaeton or cast are not their macho or sexist codes nor the way in which they hypersexualize women and denigrate them, but that they are genres of "vulgar" people. What bothers is that we are, regrettably and profoundly, classist. It's either that, or that we are still prejudiced about childhoods and the topics we can discuss with them. 

Neither death nor sexuality, nor violence, should be taboo subjects with our children. They should not be, in my opinion, forbidden conversations. It is not a matter of canceling these songs I mention, but of explaining to them what they are about, that they also serve as learning. Nor is it about banning sharing; few people question what happens in homes where the only time everyone usually shares is when Wow Popy is playing. Few people question the benefits, at a learning level, that group dancing, the exercise of memorizing letters or simply being part of the adult world brings to girls and boys. 

Maybe I'm taking this issue too far, but I'm not a fan of the cancellation culture and I understand perfectly well those who take care of their children from messages they can't understand or learning that may remain engraved forever. What I am getting at is that, if we think about it, not all reggaeton is violent to children, nor are all children's songs free of reproducing this violence. And yes, I know that the examples I have brought are from other times, but I have plenty of evidence and no doubt that we have all sung them, even last night, to put our child to sleep. 

I will not be the one to say what soundtrack each family should choose. I will not be the one to question models of upbringing other than my own. I will not be the one to question which song each one dances to. I am a mother and I know the juggling we do to educate them the best we can with the little we have on this Island. However, here I am: inviting reflection, in defense of sharing.